Hello! Let me be the last to welcome you to 2026. Lord. Thirty-seven weeks of January have passed, and the year is a dumpster fire. And by some quirk of nature, an extremely cold dumpster fire.

I digress.

Two trips are planned. The first to The Big Easy for the AAPA National Conference. AAPA stands for, I think, American Association of Physician Associates. Actually, that is incorrect. I asked AI. It is American Academy of Physician Associates. We changed our name from “Assistant” to “Associate” because patients thought we just brought coffee to doctors. I mean … we do … but we also do other things, like bring coffee to the nurses.

The annual conference is in New Orleans during May. I have never been. Together we will explore the city; also, I’m supposed to attend this conference. I promise to mention it very little. The annual event coincides with my Women’s Health rotation, and I am super cool with that. While I deeply believe women should have health and it’s done terribly here in the U.S., I also realize me — an older, balding, pudgy white male — is not the ideal provider to be delivering it. I do not have a vagina and have never menstruated. Since I barely understand what drives my own anatomy, it seems best to leave this particular discipline to those appropriately equipped. Look for trip updates in mid-May.

Nothing till mid-September. Just endless rotations and exams. Mom and I will be taking a wildly circumferential route to Singapore, Darwin, and Sydney. No, they are not close. While Mom is mobile and healthy, she wants to embark on one last ostentatious international trip of her design. I will provide logistical support and commentary, with maybe some thoughts on aging parents.

In November, a special surprise, I present a recap of all ten rotations in the ten days prior to graduation, on Monday, November 16th. I have already written four of the ten entries. We will dive into the mysteries and complexities of time and our experience of it. I might also mention the medical system, still a TBD. It’s pretty horrific, actually.

Lastly, in January of 2027, we venture back to Africa. This time, our 4th trip, we visit Kenya, Nairobi, and Zanzibar. I know, I know. This is getting a bit excessive, but this is the last time. I swear. No more. Done. Finito. Yes, I know I said that last time. And the time before.

Only 15 more weeks of January to go!

Stay warm. Stay sane. Resist. We’ll speak again in May.