Today marks our departure from Sossusvlei. We travel onward to Onduli Ridge, which translates as giraffe ridge. Sossusvlei Desert Lodge is a beautiful place. It’s owned (or at least managed) by &Beyond, which is the company we use for all these African travels.

They’re an interesting group. From where I sit, they seem less evil than most corporations in travel and tourism. Most are quite exploitative of their workers. Perhaps that’s how they extract money from me and I so willingly fork it over while smiling stupidly. &Beyond has their fingers in a lot of pies in Southern Africa. They book daily tours and entire travel itineraries like a traditional travel agent, but also manage lodges. Or buy land, build a lodge, donate the land to the local community, and help manage the bookings while the locals work all the front line jobs (and earn cash via tips). Our butler had worked at Sossusvlei Desert Lodge for 14 years, which is a good sign.

&Beyond built Sossusvlei Desert Lodge, and, I’m biased, but you can always tell when you’re at an &Beyond lodge. It’s something in the staff training, which if I remember correctly is a several week process, and the design of the experiences, which is honed and crafted over iterations of travelers. I should ask if I can attend the full training because I know I would learn so much about managing demanding and entitled people. Just like Juan in Cabo. Sadly, they probably don’t want entitled, over-privileged Americans mucking things up. I remember in Brazil during the olympics the Olympic Broadcasting Service (OBS) never hired Americans. They were too entitled to do the job that needed doing.

A Very Dark Sky

The stars here are a thing. We hung out with Bruce, the resident astronomer. He had some fun toys to look at far off galaxies. Such a mensch, willing to wake up at odd hours to show guests (who may not show) features of the night sky.

All Terrain Vehicles

Dune quad-biking is also a thing, which was a lot of fun. I only got stuck once, which surely means I’m losing weight.

Ancient Painters

There are cave paintings from 10,000 years ago. The area was much different then, supporting a much more complex ecosystem. It is wild to be in the exact spot another human so long ago stood, idling exploring his or her creative mind. &Beyond puts painting supplies in the room, in case you are so motivated. It is small touches like this they do so well.

Sossusvlei Desert Lodge and the surrounding area are magnificent places on this planet one should absolutely visit.

If you do one thing in Namibia, make sure to stop by.

Guest Follies

I’m always asking the guides for fun information about past guests. I love hearing about humans doing silly things.

Poor Choices in Luggage

A transfer driver told us a visitor came with Louis Vuitton branded luggage that, the owner said, cost over $5,000. The problem is hard shell luggage didn’t fit into the airplane he had scheduled to take. According to our driver, the guy pitched an epic fit, yelling and screaming, insisting the pilots make room for his luggage in their very tiny plane. After going back and forth, the pilot finally said, “You have three options. One, leave the luggage and pack it into these duffels. Two, book a private charter right now. Three, stay here with your luggage.

Dude apparently had fancy luggage money, but not private charter money. He opted for choice one. Somewhere, a Namibian airport worker is ready to travel in style.

Ouch

On our flight to Onduli Ridge, a woman gingerly climbed into the Cessna Caravan. She tried to put a brave face on, but looked to be in serious pain. She loudly yelped in agony several times getting to her seat. Her husband spoke English, and he said during an ATV ride her quad-bike hit a rock and threw her off. I’m guessing she panicked and hit the throttle. She had massive bruises on her left side, and maybe cracked a few ribs. They were going to a clinic at our next stop, Swakopmund.

That’s a tough reality to face. The fun things we do here come with risks, and medical help is not always close. I remember in the Okavango after dark, if you needed medical evacuation you waited till first light.

The Helicopter Broke

Sossusvlei Desert Lodge offers a free helicopter ride if you stay over a certain amount of time. It’s a nice gesture, but I wondered why it’s free, when helicopters are very expensive to operate, and why rich, privileged tourists should get anything for free?

It turns out helicopters break all the time. I sorta knew this but try not to think about it. Compared to fixed wing aircraft, helicopters need a lot of TLC. Then getting the new part takes time, since the part likely has to be transported from South Africa. So if the experience is “free,” nobody can complain when it doesn’t happen. Right?

You’d be wrong.

A young woman staying at the lodge had a temper tantrum in the gift shop. She managed to cry her way into a free couple’s massage. I’m always a little annoyed when people who behave badly get rewarded. My father did this all the time. On the other hand, the staff must act and try to salvage the situation with the tools they have available. This is why I want to go to the &Beyond staff training. My response to her would have been, “Shut the fuck up. If you can’t be happy with everything our staff has done, working 18 hours a day for you, then go home and burn your passport thus saving humanity from you.” The lodge staff handled it professionally by giving something small (and in their control, unlike, say, aviation mechanical failures). I’m guessing they said to themselves, “Lord Jesus take the wheel, I need a break from these pendejos.”

Okay, fine, the staff might not be Christian so they probably didn’t use “Jesus.” But the rest is probably accurate.

More stories as I hear them.