The casual observer might understandably wonder, What the hell is wrong with these people? Who goes to Africa three times?

Fair. It’s not normal. It seems excessive to have three trips of a lifetime between 2021 and 2024. Our families must just shake their heads in bewilderment. My father famously asked if I thought I was an Onassis – it’s now a running joke between me and RBD. My mother asked, “So what are you seeing this time?” I replied, “Big dunes. In the desert.” This answer is not satisfying.

Images from past trips to Southern Africa.

The origins of all these travel shenanigans started many years ago. By the mid-2000s RBD (before she was RBD) made it clear she was sticking around, despite my bumbling attempts at emotional maturity and a serious income. We often spoke about the big issues in marriage, like money, kids, which side of the bed we would respectively sleep on for the remainder of our lives, and what our days would look like in this joint future. One thing I knew for certain: I did not want children. If she absolutely did, we would have to part ways.

It’s hard to know when I decided, but I think by Sophomore year of high school I knew kids weren’t for me. I went around idiotically proclaiming I wasn’t getting married because marriage was stupid, which in retrospect was my Opinionated Dipshit Phase; mouthing off to impress people who neither cared or were impressed. Sadly, this phase lasted way too long. (I often cringe at the memory of my younger self, which is supposedly healthy.) What I think I meant was, I don’t seem to want what others say I am supposed to want regarding a large family. I always equated marriage with procreation. After all, who just got married to be married? Insane people, that’s who. Well, and my current wife. But also lots of other people.

It turns out marriage is great fun — my 16 year old self whiffed that hot take — and it doesn’t have to be about procreation. There are lots of people who like children but never wanted any of their own. While the future RBD was not as firmly in the no camp as me, she wasn’t a hard yes on contributing to the gene pool. I found this incredibly sexy. It, however, left a big question we needed to answer: What would we do instead?

More images from past trips to Southern Africa.

Kids are dynamic little thingies, but a major thing they do is generate to-dos. You rarely have unallocated time to fill because children fill it. And then some … I’m told. Every decision made after their birth is made with their needs in mind, which naturally limits choice and shapes the path a life follows. Couples planning to get preggers understand (at least in broad terms) this reality and welcome the direction their lives will soon take. It’s cool to watch. But if chasing after tiny, precious, bacteria-filled little bundles of joy was not to be for us, what would our to-dos be instead? What would we do with our time in this life?

Thus, an agreement was forged. In the tiny confines of our dingy, roach-infested, Upper East Side, fourth floor walk-up, we decided to create our own path and forgo the moving walkway of American child rearing. We would live cheaply and save, using the excess to travel the world and pursue experiences that would be financially tricky to do with children, especially living in Manhattan. Given our subsistence-level household income at the time, touring the moon was equally as likely as taking elaborate trips to Southern Africa.

More images from past trips to Southern Africa.

But here we are, Series 17, to Namibia. Our 3rd trip of a lifetime, honoring a pact we made as kids over 20 years ago when we had zero money and even less free time. This past April marked our 15-year wedding anniversary. We have had remarkable journeys together, and it’s time for another one.

Please forward this note to anyone you wish. They can sign up at www.cleared-for-departure.com to get sent emails directly.

Interested in past trips to Africa? I created a special section in the archives with posts from the past two trips.

I can do this all day long.

We depart Tuesday, May 14th. I hope you’ll join us.