On Monday we headed to The University of British Columbia to learn about First Nation peoples. No longer would we be ignorant of the original inhabitants of this land. With purpose we traveled over an hour on mass transit, across town, to the UBC campus. We wound our way from the bus stop to the museum … and found it closed. Apparently in October, on some Mondays, they close.   

We went to the beach instead. On my map, it looked very close. Sadly my 2D map neglected to mention a 3D reality: it was 20 flights and 400 steps down to the shore. 

On the climb back up I kept asking mom if she felt nauseous, short of breath, or had sudden and unusual back pain. I even checked her pulse once. Mind you, none of this was because I was worried about her, but it hid the fact that I wanted to die and was wondering how many people would show up at my funeral. She counted steps while I counted people who’d show. Suffice it to say, mom passed the physical challenge with flying colors.  The woman has excellent heart health.

  

We enjoyed a mostly empty rose garden and recovered, snacking on gummy coke bottles. We’re healthy like that. 

After UBC’s anthropology museum bust and my near death experience climbing stairs, we headed back into town to visit the Vancouver Art Museum. Always a risk, modern art. You never quite know if you’re getting actual art or, “…pretentious twaddle,” as mom described much of what we saw. It was a colossal waste of time. We headed to dinner to drown our sorrows with cocktails.

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Tuesday we woke early and flew to Victoria, the capital of British Columbia. We missed our chance to learn about First Nation peoples in Vancouver, but at the Museum of British Columbia we could fix that. Education, here we come!

Then I found a miniature village for triple the price. Now, I know you’re thinking, “Lance, how could you give up learning about this continent’s early history for a gimmick meant to mildly entertain children ten and under?” In my defense, there were model trains. 

There was even an entire circus layout with 10,000 figures doing circus-like things.  I’ll spare you the three hundred pictures I took of it.  

After an entertaining time touring miniature dioramas and watching trains, all of which possessed ZERO cultural significance, we knew it was time to learn. Through the cold rain, we approached the British Columbia Museum. AND of course the exhibit was closed for repairs and maintenance. Another bust. Crushed, mom and I toured the exhibit on the natural history of British Columbia instead. Sadly, I will not be able to share with you things I learned about the original inhabitants of this beautiful land because I still know nothing.  There are pitfalls to traveling in the off season. 

Victoria is a cute town. It is low tourist season the streets were sparsely populated. The tourist center folks looked bored enough to enjoy Crime and Punishment retold in rhyming couplets. The population of the larger area is about 350,000. The city itself is tiny, but it is the seat of government for British Columbia. It sits on the southern end of Vancouver Island, which is roughly 12,400 square miles. Half the island’s population live in and around Victoria. 

I will have to come back one day. We didn’t get to Butchart Gardens because of time constraints. And maybe Miniature World will have new exhibits. Plus hopefully next time The Museum of British Columbia will be fully open. It would be fun to rent a cottage north on Vancouver Island for a Summer.

We’re in Whistler now and the weather continues to be blue-grey and moody.  We toured the village last night before dinner, and today we’re going out driving to see the sights.