We are sitting at the gate, with thirty people on board this A330-300, while the French authorities randomly inspect our plane.  The Captain could barely contain his annoyance over the PA.  If they’d let us go, we’d be over the Atlantic by now.  Very stern looking people in vests are going through everything.  If the French had spent this much time defending their country as inspecting our plane, World War II would have turned out differently. 

So while we wait … How big is the continent of Africa?  Like, compared to the U.S. or Europe, how large?  Give it a good think and come back when you’ve decided. 

Having grown up in the U.S. — the best, biggest, and only country in the world worth studying — I was surprised to learn Africa is massive.  Turns out you can fit the continental U.S. into Africa three times with room for an extra Alaska or two.  Put another way, all of the U.S., Europe, and China would fit comfortably inside Africa with a little wiggle room.  We tend to talk about Africa as a single unit, which is absurd given the size.  

Delay update:  The French FAA found chipped paint on the engine cowling, and are holding us here indefinitely.        

I didn’t talk about apartheid.  I was unsure going into this if I was going to mention it.  I do not have anything of substance to add, particularly as a white man from the U.S.  Those in glass houses…  Parts of the U.S. didn’t desegregate till the 1980s, and some areas still have de facto segregation today.  Schools remain quite segregated, though it’s dressed up as academic ability now.  I remember vividly my AP classes were mostly wealthy and white, while the “below average” classes were mostly the opposite.  In no way do poor minorities have equal access to the economy, education, and justice systems that wealthier folks do.  South Africa is the same.  Laws working their way through U.S. state legislatures currently are, frankly, rebranded apartheid laws meant to ensure a certain group stays in power through legal maneuvering.  And like then, it was large corporations, companies like MLB pulling the All-Star game from Georgia, and governmental sanctions, that eventually broke apartheid.  In essence: money.  Nothing about this moment is unique.  It’s all happened before, and the fight will continue tomorrow for greater and more equal access for everyone.  I would say South Africa is maybe forty years, or two or three generations, behind the U.S., but that’s nothing to feel superior about.

I have high hopes for South Africa.  They remind me of an early us: a country with lots of cultures and languages smashed together, living on top of each other, all looking to make it work so their children can have a better life.  Their diversity, like ours, is a strength.  Their challenges, like ours, are formidable and strangely similar.  Success in either country is not guaranteed.  Like us, they are a nation of hustlers.   

Delay update:  Now that the French authorities have found an issue, Delta in Atlanta is discussing how to respond with maintenance here in Paris.  The fix will take either 30 minutes for 4 hours.   

Our time together has come to a close.  We’ve been planning this trip for so long, I can’t believe it is over or that there’s life on the other side.  If you’re leaving us here, thank you so much for joining.  I appreciate you coming along and reading.  There is a link to unsubscribe at the bottom.  If you’re staying on, we depart for Hawaii in early June.  Admittedly it’s a little soon.  All this was spaced out better before COVID.   

Thank you to all for your notes back and comments.  I appreciate them very much. Thank you to those who expressed concern for our well-being.  It is always a blessing in this life to have people who care about you.  Our temperature was taken daily, we went through liters (or so it felt like) of hand sanitizer, so many masks and COVID tests … the old world is dead.  Long live the new world.  If you have specific questions about international travel, let me know.

A special thank you to our wonderful Travel Advocate, Planner, Producer, Boss, Counselor, and All Around Great Person Seranne Slaviero.  We could not imagine doing all this without you, and we are most grateful our path’s crossed.  I hope they will cross again someday.  Also, please stop sending these posts to the lodge staff!  It’s getting embarrassing.  We roll up and they’re like, “Ah, so you’re the guy we’ve read so much about.”  Oy.  Seranne works for andBeyond, and if planning a trip to Africa and South America I cannot recommend her enough.  Please reach out to me for her info.  

I also recommend checking out the company andBeyond.  As companies go, I appreciate their ethics and business practices.  It is refreshing to find a company that treats its employees with dignity and respect, and acts with principle instead of treating everything and everyone as a resource to be exploited for profit.  AndBeyond deserves a lot of credit regarding their employment practices during this pandemic.

Thanks to my Producer, Editor, and Partner-In-Crime, RBD.  There’s no other person I would want physically separating me from the leopard in an off-roading vehicle.  You are my favorite human shield.              

I did not talk about the places we stayed, which could be an entire series of posts on its own.  I’m not a hotel or lodge reviewer.  For information on where we stayed, you can find me on Trip Advisor, but fair warning:  I never post bad reviews.  It’s mostly just to write thank you notes to the staff who worked so hard for my benefit.  I think posting negative reviews publicly is a dick move.  If you have a problem, grow the fuck up and communicate it properly as nobody on this planet owes you a thing.    

If you wish to make a donation, along with me and Rebecca, to help the community in the area we stayed for safari, here’s some info from The Africa Foundation that was sent to us:   

If the guests are interested, there is a real and pressing need in the communities in Mpumalanga (so near to the lodges of Ngala and Tengile), for better access to water. Africa Foundation has an initiative where we are fundraising to supply these communities with Hippo Water Rollers. The unfortunate reality is that many people in rural areas are still walking long distances to access water, often carrying extremely heavy, water-filled buckets on their heads or backs. Water Rollers are 90L barrels that can be easily pushed or pulled along the ground, saving time and easing the burden. Women and children are disproportionately responsible for the collection of water, so donating a Hippo Water Roller will mean that these women and children will no longer need to carry heavy water buckets, helping to prevent long-term physical injury and strain.

I have attached a PDF for more information.  Use this link, as you will get a tax deduction.  Once your donation is made, you will receive an email.  Reply back and stipulate you’d like your donation to go to the Mpumalanga water rollers and if they have questions to email Seranne.

Finally, if there’s a picture you’d like a high res digital copy of, shoot me a note.  If you need help with printing it, I am at your disposal.     

Delay update:  It would seem that, 3 hours later, we are finally cleared to leave. 

From KLM-Air France-Delta flight whatever it is we’re on today of the coast of Newfoundland, take care.  The next adventure awaits.  

Till then.