I forgot to mention a funny thing that happened at the Weta Cave.  The guide showed us a facial cast of an older man, drooped eye, really, really ugly looking.  He asked if anyone could guess who this was?  A little girl in front respectfully raised her hand and waited to be called on.  The guide pointed to her and she said, “Donald Trump?”  

The entire group bowled over laughing and started clapping.  Some people wiped away tears.  RBD and I just looked at each other, embarrassed for the millionth time this trip.  Invariable we always get the question, “Why?”  The answer, while pretty obvious, does not lessen the humiliation.     

We got up yesterday morning to a much livelier city.  I thought, great, just when I told everyone it’s a ghost town.  Turns out, however, there were two cruise ships worth of passengers tooling about.  They, too, were touring the Wellington Theme Park.  After they re-boarded and shipped out, sure enough, back to post-apocalyptic emptiness.  Also, the moon is upside down here.  If that doesn’t send a signal of doom, then I don’t know what does.

We met up with RBD’s co-worker and her fiancee for some quad-biking.  They have been traveling north to south, and our path’s crossed here in Wellington.  This is their honeymoon.  

Quad-biking was exhilarating but crazy dangerous.  I got so much flak from my various parental types regarding jumping off a cliff.  I still chuckle at that.  But, really, it was all an illusion.  I know enough about rigging to have felt comfortable about zip lining across a canyon.  This quad-biking thing, however, was beyond the pale.

If me driving on the left is hundreds of times more dangerous than zip lining, this quad-biking thing maybe a thousand times more dangerous.  Only in New Zealand would this type of tour even occur.  Funny how the brain works and perceives danger.  

We dressed in waterproof clothing that belonged in the 1940s.  I felt like a World War 2 solider.  After a brief lecture on how to work a quad-bike, off we went.  I though the guides were very conscientious of our safety and how we handled ourselves, and did reserve the right to pull us if we looked uncomfortable.  We could also bail at any time.  (Apparently many people do.)    

I lost control several times and drifted quite a bit.  We rode from the tops of the mountains down into the river valley below.  As I contemplated my own mortality, several things came to mind about quad-biking you all may find useful. 

For starters, you don’t steer a quad-bike as much as you guide it down the path.  Loose gravel, gravity, and your momentum will flow how they will.  You just sort of manage the process.  

Also, don’t grip the handle bars tightly.  A loose grip is best.  After all, we’re guiding the bike.  Should you be about to crash, a death grip on the handles won’t save you.  It’ll just give you shoulder cramps before flying off, prolonging your recovery.  Life’s kinda like that.  Holding on too tightly when things are going to shit rarely works.  Plus keeping loose and flowing with the quad-bike (as well as life) will prevent your ass from being bruised the next day.  Trust me on this.  Not pleasant. 

Lastly, you may look ridiculous by over preparing, which we were, and people may chuckle at you.  However, it will probably pay off.  With our hats, jacket, pants, and boots we looked dumb and like total noobs.  No one can dispute this.  However, when going through several inches of muddy water, I am sure glad I had all the gear.  The “cool” riders were drenched in cold, muddy water.  Sucked to be them.    

The view from onto the ridge was unparalleled.

We completed the circle by driving back in the river bed you see below. 

Below you can see the type of track we’d been driving on. 

The view was hard to beat. Wellington harbor is in the top right.

We all ate lunch down by the coast after a rapid decent.  

Finally, it was time to leave the countryside and return to Wellington. 

Dirt got everywhere.  Cleaning ourselves up before dinner was shocking.  I bet the hotel staff wondered what we did to their pristine white towels.  I wonder if they’ll ever be white again. 

We had dinner with Morgan and David afterwards.  We traded travel stories and tips.  They will end their trip in Queenstown and depart for home about the same time we do.  It was fun hanging out with fellow New Yorkers, in awe of this beautiful country as much as us.       

The next day (today) we departed Wellington for a grueling 5 hour drive up to Tongariro on twisty, two-lane roads.  We crossed through many landscapes.  After leaving Wellington suburbs, we crossed into 1950s midwest farm land.  Big sky territory.  Small towns filled with mom and pop shops.  That and Subway.  This country has a thing for Subway.  How many people must think Subway is what Americans think of as a decent sandwich? 

After some foothills, we passed into a alpine desert.  Dry, endless flat plains to the east of the volcanoes we’ll be hiking tomorrow.  Just a two lane road twisting through this barren landscape, which the army uses to train on.  No doubt for when we invade Mars. 

Tomorrow we hike the Tongariro Alpine Crossing, which takes us into an active volcano.  They say the Crossing, as it’s colloquially known, is one of the greatest walks on Earth.  The weather promises to be beautiful.  Hopefully my bum will heal.